I had a new experience on Wednesday: taking my son for his very first eye exam. He had failed his school vision screening, and then failed his rescreen. 'Fail' is such a laden term, but that's what they call it when someone doesn't or can't pass.
So the exam began with the reading of the letters --pretty standard stuff. The instruction was, "Read the smallest line you can". He had never failed his screening before. He is doing fine in school. I wasn't worried.
He couldn't read any of the lines. At the ends of the lines, I could see a 20, a 30, and a 40. Huh. Not even the 40?
Next screen. Same instruction.
Nothing. And this time at the ends of the lines there were larger numbers to go along with the larger font sizes.
And so on.
Around the mid-100s, he attempted lines and missed some of the letters. He could read them all in a line that had a 200 at the end of it. 20/200. For both eyes.
He had been functioning with eyesight like mine without glasses.
Needless to say, I felt like a horrible parent. How could I not have known? There were indications, but they were really subtle and I didn't realize what they were until now. Because hindsight is 20/20. Get it? Moving on ...
I think people have areas where they function but they seem like they have no difficulties to the outside world. The term 'high functioning' is used a lot. We only see the outside presentation. We guess that everything is okay because we don't know. We only know there's an issue going on inside if 1) the person tells us or 2) it becomes such an obstacle that they can't cover anymore.
You can't feel guilty about not seeing signs in the past, because that was the past and you can't change that. But if someone tells you they are having a hard time with something, you might want to listen. And if there are signs of struggle, like my son and his vision test, you should definitely intervene --in this case, by asking for help from a trained professional.
My son doesn't want glasses, but he did pick them out and I hope he likes his choice. Sometimes, what's needed is not what's wanted, but in the long run, it works out better. If you need rest, medicine, glasses, hearing aids, help, ...there is nothing wrong with that. May you get what you need, and have a great day.